Miss SusieQ

That I have never done anything for him for his birthday! I would have to say that I am at the top of the list now! LOL

Last week, Jeanne asked Bonnie and I if we wanted to go to the Bears/Packers game this weekend. She had 2 extra tickets and she usually asks us even though we aren’t Packer fans because we so FUN! haha We said sure, we’d go which means I am driving. Well my sister is the other half of Jeanne and goes with her to the games but she remembered that my nephew got asked to go to his first real birthday party (not one that consists of family) and she needed to be home to take him.

I talked with Bonnie about it and I said I would be able to find someone to go with me to the game but to give me a bit of time. I would definitely have someone to use the ticket. Well I knew Jon was coming home to party for his birthday on Saturday and I figured I would ask him. If he didn’t want to go, that was fine but I figured I could do something for his birthday. I’ve never done anything for his birthday before.

Friday night after my niece’s birthday party, I waited for Jon to get home with my cousins. I told him I had a proposition for him. He looked at me kind of leery hahaha. So I asked him if he would like to go to the Packer game on Sunday. He asked who they were playing. The bears. He thought about it for a sec and was like sure, yeah I’ll go. Then he’s all “I have to call my Buddy ***, he’s a Bears fan and let him know I am going.” Then it turned into, “The game is televised hey?”

When I got home, I had received a text from Jeanne that said Ruth told her that I wanted to know if the seats were together. And they were. So I told her I found someone to go with me. She didn’t know I was looking for someone and I told her that if she had someone else in mind that I could let him know but I also had a feeling that he was going to back out on me at last second. She was cool with it and I told her who it was. She asked if he was excited. I said, “At first it didn’t seem like but then he started asking questions so yeah he’s excited.” I also told her I figured him to be either still drunk or really hungover when we went because his birthday was Saturday and he came down to party with the family.

On Saturday, I didn’t see Jon and I didn’t go over to the house to party because I was so exhausted. I called the house and told my niece to let him know that I would be picking him up on Sunday morning between 9 and 9:30. She asked if I wanted him to call me back. I told her to tell him to call me ONLY if he wasn’t going. He called back that night..at midnight! Talked to my mom because I was already in bed.

The next morning, my mom got up before I left and told me that he was going and that he would call me in the morning. I called him right before I left and woke him up. I told him I would be there in a 1/2 an hour and to be ready. I went to pick up the girls at Jeanne’s, filled up my gas tank, ran to my sisters and picked him up.

On the way down I bought him breakfast, at the game I bought him hot chocolate and after the game I bought him dinner! That was his birthday present from me.

When we sat down in Lambeau, he looked around and said, “This is AWESOME.” This was his first NFL game and even though he wasn’t a fan of either team, he really did enjoy himself. I had a BLAST at the game.

When I dropped him off, I told him to give me a hug and as he’s hugging me he says, “That was AWESOME, thank you so much for taking me.” I said “You’re welcome.”

So Happy 32nd Birthday Jon! I’m glad to have celebrated with you and you enjoyed yourself. And just remember, you are old and that you get there before I do! hahaha

OH! And thanks to Jeanne for letting me go with her to the game and for letting me bring Jon! LOL Jeanne…YOU ROCK! LOL

Today I was talking with a friend of mine, who is also a co-worker of mine and also an employee of mine. LOL  She mentioned how she saw me on Friday in town.  I said, “I saw you and your family in the parking lot but you were talking to Darryl C and I was avoiding him at all costs.  So her and I were talking a bit about him and I asked her about something I had heard this summer between him and Matt S.  She confirmed it, told me the small town gossip about it. ahahaha  Well then I told her, how in love I was with Matt back in High School.  And I mean in L-O-V-E!  I was like stalkerish when I look back at it! LOL  So I explained a little bit to her about it and she agreed it was a bit stalkerish! LOL

But it got me thinking.  Back in High School, I was so in love with Matt.  He was all I ever talked about, thought about, etc.  As many of my friends know, I am not shy and I’m not shy when it comes to letting a guy know I like him.  I found out his birthday, his middle name, used to call him on the phone, would talk with him at JV football games, would cheer for him at basketball and football games.  I was a freshman and he was a Senior.  I actually had the biggest crush on this guy since 5th grade.  I saw him walking the hall in the elementary school once and I was hooked! LOL

And I think back to then and realize that I was kind of needy.  I wanted someone to be with me, to like me, to love me.  I remember distinctly talking to Matt one day at the gym while we were weight lifting and telling him that one of the girls in my class liked him and I saw him asking her out and to please not do it and I remember crying! WTF!!!!!

So I look at myself now and realize, I’m a bit like sometimes but not like I was in High School.  I’m actually a lot different in High School.  The only thing that is about the same is that I’m still a bitch! A bigger bitch but a bitch nonetheless. hahaha

Now, I like to have space in a relationship, to have my own time.  I go out of my way to let you know I like you but if you don’t like me back, that’s cool too.  I’m cool with being friends.  I don’t feel that I have to talk to you everyday and sometimes I get annoyed if you call me too much.  When I was in HS, I waited for those calls.

So I have changed a bit since HS and I just want to say that one of these days, I’m going to go up to Matt and just tell him I’m sorry.  And when he asked me what for, I’m going to say, “For being so stalkerish in HS.” haha

Your daily kiss fortune:

Your luck is about to change. —

What was elusive will now be available when you are honest with your love, honesty and warmth will come back to you.

It looks like my daily kiss fortune knows something that I do not!

Your daily kiss fortune: One cannot refuse to eat just because there is a chance of being choked. —

Love is a great risk, but not loving is of greater risk - even though you may have been hurt badly before - a great love will come to you soon and you must be ready to accept it.

website   Http://DNA.imagini.net/friends

It’s pretty neat and interesting.  I say it got a lot of me right. lol

Told my mom that I was having such problems with my hips lately that “I would not even be able to ride a horse, that’s how bad my hips are.”

She looks at me and says, “or even a cowboy.”

ROFLMAO

Can you tell I’m in a writing mood? I’ve had a few things bouncing in my head for weeks about topics to post and I just haven’t really had time to sit down and put them into writing.  But since I now have a bit of time, I figured I could get some posts in.  I really need to start posting more frequently.

Now this is one topic I’ve really wanted to write about it and I am going to warn you now, I KNOW I am going to piss someone off.  But I really don’t care because if you just read my last post, you know I don’t hold anything back.

I’m unsure even how to start.

I guess this could apply to a few people or even just one but whatever you think, it’s your opinion to think what you want.  I deleted a person off of one of my message things I get because I was sick and tired of hearing about something they were talking about in their lives. And I mean they were talking about it CONSTANTLY.  The next thing I know, they deleted me off of everything, myspace, facebook, messenger, etc.  That is fine with me.  But here is what IRKS me about the whole thing.

They delete me out of everything but still come to my blog site to read my entries.  Why? I don’t understand.  Obviously they don’t want me knowing anything about their lives but feel the need to come to my site so they can know about mine?  They won’t talk to me in person, they avoid me if they see me but they still come to my blog to read.  And then they have the audacity to comment on it.  Why?  And how do I know they are reading my site? Because my administrator put a site tracker on it and knows where the I.P. addresses are coming from.  And now that I know that little tidbit of information, I have a notion to tell my administrator to block their I.P’s.  I do not want to give them access to my thoughts, my life, etc.

I know this isn’t only happening on my site.  But I felt I need to address it because it pisses me off.  Now I don’t expect the people who come across my site through search or blogroll to know exactly who I am.  Ya’ll are cool, or so I assume! LOL  Don’t be afraid to comment. But to those I know IRL, you don’t want anything to do with me IRL and block me from your other programs, all I can do is block you from reading my blog because I do not want you to know what is going on in my life.

So I’ll leave you with that.

I was talking with my friend Bonnie at the football game last week and she made a mention to me that people cannot understand how her and I are friends because I am such a bitch and that they don’t like because I am too much of a bitch. I have to say that conversation got me thinking.

I told Bonnie that people think I am such a bitch is because I hold nothing back.  If you want to know the honest, absolute truth, come and talk to me.  I don’t sugar coat the shit! And because I am so honest, that is why people don’t like me.  Never mind that they haven’t gotten to know me as a person or as a friend who is pretty true to the friends she makes and has.  My clique is made up of all types of people but there are only a few who are closest to me. That is because I have found a way and reason to trust them and I bring them into my inner circle.

But what got me thinking about how I am such a bitch is that people think that I take offense to that.  Bonnie mentioned the other night that her secretary mentioned to her that someone on her myspace contacts told her that Bonnie said I was a bitch.  I had to laugh because it looks like they are trying to cause trouble between Bonnie and I.  Bonnie response was: "She is a bitch and she knows that I have said that". LOL

By why is being a bitch such a bad thing? The way I see it, the only reason people think I am a bitch is because I am honest and I don’t take shit from anyone.  I am not afraid to tell you what I think, even if you don’t want to hear it.  If you don’t like it, then don’t be my friend.  I would rather stand up for what I believe in then have people think I believe another way and not say anything.

I also think the word bitch is so loosely thrown around.  It seems that everyone is a bitch and it could be because they snapped at you at one time or were rude to you at one time.

By all means, call me a bitch.  But I would rather be loved for who I am than be loved for who I’m not.

Shit  like this pisses me off.

I’m in Minneapolis for a training with a few co-workers.  One co-worker has a brother that lives here and said that he wanted to go to Happy Hour tonight and would pick them up at 4:30-5:00.  They then asked if it would be alright to bring 2 of their other co-workers, he didn’t say much but mentioned that one of his friends was going to meet them out.

We get done with our training early and they call their brother to let them know we are out earlier.  They kept asking me what was I going to do.  They mentioned that we could go with their brother when he came to pick them up but we would be heading to his house first.  I didn’t feel comfortable going there so I said when you leave his house, call me and tell me where we can meet yous. They weren’t sure how long they would be at their brother’s place.

So I’m sitting here at the room, waiting for the call.  I read my book for awhile, I fell asleep for a bit.  I wake up to the sound of a text message coming through to my phone. I look at the message and it is my co-worker, sending me a text of their brother’s front seat, all cluttered.  I wait some more, thinking they were still at his house.  This is at 5:50 pm MN time.

I get a text message again at 6:40pm that says they are going to eat at Happy Hour  and that they don’t have any idea where they are, it’s in savage somewhere and is far away from the hotel.

HUH?

What the hell happened to calling us to meet you guys or to follow you where we had to go? I text them back and say that I was thinking about heading to Savage because there is a Sonic there but have decided against it.  The response I get:  Well if you come to Savage we are at McHugh’s.  I respond back, I am not heading to Savage and that I was going to find the other co-worker to head to dinner.

Now shit like that pisses me off.  If you didn’t want me to join you, just tell me so I am not waiting around for you like a dumbass thinking you are going to call. If you would have told me that, I would have made plans to do something else.  I HATE waiting around for people and then have them back out of me at last minute.  That is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.  I usually don’t tolerate that with my friends and certainly don’t tolerate it with acquaintances.

So, while they are out in Savage with their brother, I’m going to head to dinner by myself. I’m unsure if I will be able to get a table at the place that I want to eat at since it is the middle of the dinner crowd, but they may be accommodating since I will be the only diner.

Lots of things have happened to me in the past few weeks that I feel I have a justified right to cry.  But it seems that no matter how hard I try, I just can’t do it.  I’m not a crier by any means.  I don’t like to cry in front of people because to me it shows weakness and I don’t like to show that I can be weak.  It’s just a trait I have.  But with everything going on from my personal life to my work life, I feel that I need to cry to get my anger, my sadness, my disappointment out.  But my body just won’t let me.

I feel I need to get my emotions out and I’ve tried everything else to get those emotions to come to the surface but nothing seems to help.  Usually when I feel like that, it’s time to just break down and cry.  It seems like I find something new out everyday that makes me want to just break down and cry but my body just isn’t going to let me.

I saw something earlier today that punched me hard in the gut.  I didn’t think it would affect me as much as it did.  I’ve been trying to make sense of it since.  Now just a few moments ago, I found something else out that made that punch even harder.  I was totally not expecting my reaction to it and I SO want to cry.  Maybe it is my body’s way of telling me I am stronger than that and it shouldn’t bother me but it does bother me and makes me question my decisions.

Maybe our bodies are smarter than we give them credit for…