Miss Susie Q

I heard George Strait’s new song about a week ago, either on my way to Minneapolis or on my way home.  Anyways, I listened to the lyrics and they hit pretty close to home these past few weeks.  Heartbreak sucks!

Every day is a lifetime

Without you

Hard to get through

Since you’ve gone

So I do the only thing

I know how to

To get by

I’m living for the night

I’ve drawn all the curtains

In this old house

To keep the sun out

And off of my face

Friends stop by to check in

Cause I checked out

I tell them I’m fine

I’m just living for the night

Daylight can’t hide

The tears I’ve cried

The pain that came

With your goodbye

The memories that

Keep me out of sight

Every night I venture out

Into those neon arms

That hold me tight

I’m living for the night

I’m a whole lot easier

To talk to when

I’ve had a few

I settle down

Now whiskey kills the man

You turned me into

And I come alive

I’m living for the night

Daylight can’t hide

The tears I’ve cried

The pain that came

With your goodbye

The memories that

Keep me out of sight

Every night I venture out

Into those neon arms

That hold me tight

I’m living for the night

I’m living for the night

Every day is a lifetime

Without you

-George Strait, Bubba Strait, Dean Dillon

I’ve been in my apartment for a few months now and I have not smudged it yet.  I keep forgetting to do it, even tho I have sage here.  But the past few week, I realize I need to smudge it and soon.

A couple of weeks back, I was just falling asleep and was starting to dream when in my dream someone was pounding on the door, hard.  It woke me up and I heard it again.  Like someone was pounding on my door downstairs.  I laid there for a while, listening, thinking, that if it was someone here to see me they would pound the door again.  I didn’t hear it again.

A few nights ago, I was sleeping and woke up to a sound like someone was knocking on one of the windows.  I laid there and listened, thinking that if they knocked again then I would get up and see who it was.  I didn’t hear it again.

I used to have issues like that when I was in college and had to smudge not only myself but also my dorm room.  I thought I was past all that jazz but apparently I am not.

So tomorrow before my softball game, I will go through and smudge my house.

These last few days I’ve been listening to a different radio station on my XM radio.  Usually I’m listening to Country but then I went through my 90’s alternative stage and now I’m in my R&B and Hip-hop stage.  I’ve been mostly listening to Heart & Soul on XM and remember some of the really good R&B songs I haven’t heard in a while and the new ones  I don’t know.

I have always been a fan of R&B and Hip-Hop but more so of R&B.  Listening to all the artists and their interpretations of their songs and how well they can sing it really does something for me.  I guess you can say I like good ole baby making music! LOL

Over the past few days, I’ve heard artists like Stevie Wonder, Mary J. Blige, Joe, Raphael Saadiq, Brian McKnight, Ralph Tresvant, Musiq Soulchild etc.  Some of the songs bring back memories of when I first heard the song or whom it may remind me of.  But listening to these songs always makes me think of one person.  That person is my old boss.

When I first started working at Housing many moons ago, ok it was only in the early 2000’s but it seems like many moons ago, Hip-Hop was still very popular on the mainstream radios.  People like Fabolous, P. Diddy (Puff Daddy as he was known then), Ludacris, DMX, etc.  My boss used to listen to those songs and he liked him.  It was weird coming from basically a white boy, who really had no idea the background on that type of music.
What I remember the most in my mind is I was in my office one day and used to have Yahoo Messenger up all the time and on there I would listen to Yahoo Launch Radio.  And usually when I listened to the radio, it was the R&B channel.  One day my boss was in my office and we were talking, radio is playing and he says, "What are you listening to?"  I look at him with this incredulous look on my face and said, "R&B."  He responds, "Oh…that music is too black for me."

WHAT???? Too black for you? WTF?  I just looked at him with a look of probably WTF on my face.  I then said, "This music is too black for you but you can listen to Fabolous, DMX and all the hip-hop that’s on the radio?"  He says, "Well that’s different."  WHAT? "How is that different?" I asked.  He couldn’t come up with an answer and said, "It just is."

Now IMHO, I believe that if you can appreciate the music of hip-hop, either for the beat, the lyrics or both, you definitely can appreciate the music of R&B.  Not one of them is "too black" from the other.  I just think back now and realize how much he liked the music was due to the fact that it was popular at the time, tons of people were listening to it and it helped him be with the "in" crowd, who ever that crowd was at the time.

So when I listen to R&B I think of my old boss and it’s because of people like him that make me appreciate R&B even more, for their beats, lyrics, harmonies, hooks, etc.  I love to look back and realize how much hip-hop and R&B have evolved over the years.  You take someone like Rafael Saadiq who first sang with Tony! Toni! Tone!, then help founded Lucy Pearl and then did his own solo career and is bringing back the old doo wop melodies from the 50’s.  It shows how much has evolved and how to appreciate the music.
Maybe just because I’m a minority I’m more prone to understand minority music! LMAO  Nothing is too black, too white, too asian, too mexican for this 1/2 Native, 1/2 white girl! LOL

Friday night I left the office really late.  I went up to my mom’s to feed my dog and spend time with the cats.  They wanted nothing to do with me so I got ready to head home.  As I was sitting in the truck, I remembered that it was Friday, wondering if the girls/boys had a basketball game.

I texted my cousin Jessica; no answer.  I texted her daughter Sophie; no answer.  As I’m driving down the road, I decided to call my sister.  I get her on the phone and ask if she knew if there was a game.  “Yes, it is the last home game of the season,” she replied.  So I turned off on the next road and took the back way in.

Now I’ve gone to a few of the games over this season and I’m happy to see how well the kids play and to see my little cousins play basketball.  My one cousin is really a good player and he’s only 16.

Anyways, there is a young man on their team and  some weeks ago, I was watching the game and he took the ball out near where I was sitting.  I looked down at this shoes ( I have this thing with basketball shoes) and noticed a box underneath his sock on his ankle.  I kept staring at it and looked at my cousin Judy and said, “Look at him; he’s wearing his tether and they are letting him play.”  My cousin thought that was just absurd, as do I.

How is it that a young man like him, who is obviously in trouble for something and is on house arrest, be allowed to play basketball on our rez team? Why has no one stood up for this and say that “You did the crime, you pay the time. And that means no playing basketball”?  I don’t understand how this is supportive of our young people.

The way I see and it is IMHO, if you are in trouble and have to be on tether because of what you got in trouble for, you should not be playing sports.  It sends the message to our other youth that, “Hey, I can mess up and get put on house arrest but I can still play ball.”  Not only should you have to keep your grades up but you should stay out of trouble too.

Now I am not sure if this young man goes to the away games but I do not think he should be playing ball period, if he is on tether.  What kind of role model is he for our younger generation?  Whether he knows it or not, he is role model and someone the younger kids look up to, sometimes just because he is older.

I really can’t believe that our school would allow this young man to play ball while wearing a tether and think that it’s ok.

I was at the casino tonight.  I had dinner with my mom and then went to play a few dollars.

After being there for a little while, I was playing this one penny machine.  I just happen to put money in it, just to try it out.  As I’m standing there, hitting the button, I notice a man walk by.  I look at him, he looks at me.  I look back down and then I did a double take….I mean, I literally whipped my head back around to look at him.  He did the same…needless to say..we busted each other.

We quickly looked away from each other and as he walked away from me, I couldn’t help but giggle and said out loud to myself…SOOOO BUSTED!

I recognized him.  He works at the grocery store that I shop at.  I check him out from time to time, I think he is pretty cute. He must have recognized me from said grocery store.

I saw him a bit later, in a different part of the casino.  He just stared at me, and looked me in eye.  He wouldn’t look away.  I had to break the stare…I just giggled again and thought…so busted!

Next time I am in the grocery store, I’ll remember to say hello.

For a few months now, I’ve been carefully scanning the local papers, looking for an apartment.  It seemed that everything was too expensive for the amount of bedrooms, etc with nothing included.  I knew that when my mom retired, I was going to move out.  I need my own space, become even more independent, and just be on my own now.  I’ve had some reservation about leaving my mom though.

The only time my mom has lived alone is when I left for college.  That is the only time in her whole life, 60 years so far, that’s she was alone.  That was for about 3.5 years excluding summers and Christmas.

I’ve always felt bad for moving out, that I don’t want to leave her alone so I would just stay living with her.  But since she retired, I have realized that I need my own space and she needs hers.  Our house is too small for 2 adults to live in it.  I do worry about her health and her not taking care of herself when I’m not there even though she is a healthy person and can take care of herself but it’s just the thoughts of a daughter on her mother being alone.  It scares me.

My mom hasn’t said anything really about me moving out except that I can’t take my animals! LOL My dog stays here for protection and when I mentioned that I would take the cats, she gave me this look like "Don’t you dare!" So that thought when out the window.  But of course that would depend on if I would be allowed pets if I could find an apartment I liked.

So the other day, I was cruising craigslist for the area and came across an ad for an apartment in town.  It said it was a 1 bedrom that overlooks the park and the lake.  It has a kitchen with appliance furnished, sunroom, living room, study, bathroom and a washer and dryer.  The price of the apartment also includes the heat and electric and it’s a really decent price.

I emailed the poster and asked if the apartment was still available.  He got back to me and said that it was spoken for but hasn’t seen any rent money yet but would keep my contact information in case the deal fell through.  I was a bit bummed about it but thought oh well, the post was up for a few weeks so I figured it wouldn’t have lasted long at the price either.

I got an email last night from the poster that said the deal fell through, basically it was a scam and the apartment is now available and to let him know if I was still interested.  HELL YES! I was! LOL  I tried to call him twice today and there was no answer and the voice mail wasn’t set up to take a message. I emailed him back and said that I tried to call him and I would like to come and look at the apartment if he had time.  He was able to call me back and after some difficulty with his cell, called me from his work phone to my work phone. I asked him a  few questions and he let me know all about the scam.  We agreed to meet at 6 pm for me to look at it.

On Monday, my friend Bonnie and I drove past the address on the posting and saw this really sad looking house.  It was pretty sorry on the outside but we noticed it had new windows, etc.  We drove around the back and was looking at it from behind.  We said it could look pretty bad on the outside but might be really nice on the inside.  I just wanted to see where it was located and what type of view of the lake I had.

Today as I’m talking to the poster, I ask him about the house.  Come to realize I was looking at the wrong one! LOL  It was a building behind that house.  But I was still game to check it out.  I called Bonnie and asked if she would go with me….she’s my resident expert! Thank you Bonnie! LOL

When we got to the place, the parking is a bit crazy but where he was standing in the sunroom, it looked pretty big on the outside.  We were astonished on how big it was on the inside.  It has a decent sized living room and bedroom.  The bathroom is ok.  It has just a shower.  The study is not able to be a bedroom because of the window not being to code but it was a pretty decent size.  The kitchen is small but that’s ok but what really got us to like the place even more is the sunroom.  It’s a good size and is full of windows and the window point out right to the north and all you see is lake! It’s a great view.  I don’t know how great the view will be in the summer when the trees are in bloom but a great view nonetheless.  Down below where you enter the apartment is like a basement.  That is the best way to describe it.  It’s cooler down there but there is a small closet near the door, the room where the washer and dryer are and some storage.

I was pretty impressed with the place.  It doesn’t look like much on the outside but it’s pretty decent on the inside.

So I’m excited because I think I am going to go ahead and let the poster know I am interested in renting the place and look to move in after the first of the year. 

I’m excited to have learned that one of the finalist for the Heisman Trophy is Sam Bradford from Oklahoma.  And the reason I am excited is because he’s an enrolled member of the Cherokee Nation and will thus be the first Native American to be a Heisman trophy winner if he is selected on Saturday.

Bradford is favored to win the trophy over Tebow of Florida and McCoy of Texas.  He’s a good quarterback and has led his team to a 12 and 1 record.  He’s a quarterback and a team leader.  He is respected by his teammates and the coaches and also the many fans of Oklahoma.  He is also respected by many Natives in Oklahoma and across North America for his success in college football.

Granted he is only 1/8 Cherokee but is a registered member nonetheless.  Under no pretense of his own, he has become an idol, a hero, someone that Native kids can look up to and see that he has succeeded in what he wants to do.

It is reported in different publications that he carries a 3.95 GPA and is planning on law school when he is finished with his undergrad.

Sam Bradford is someone who Native kids need to look up to and when they look at him think, "If he can do it, I KNOW I can do it!"  And we need to push that along!

Today I got from lunch with Bonnie.  I had a voice mail on my phone.  It was left at 12:36 pm from one of my staff.

"Hi Susie, This is ……., I have a quick question for you, could you call me back when you get a chance."

I call her at her extension and she answers,  "Hi ……., This is Susie returning your call, what’s up?"

She says, "I’m thinking of bringing something special for the Christmas party and I wanted to clear it with you before I did and I know you mentioned this once before but I wanted to check with you before I did it.  Didn’t you mention once that you are shrimp clan?"

Stifling back a laugh, "No, I’m fish clan.  Just fish clan."

"Oh, well.  I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to do something that might offend you."

Me:  "Well it wouldn’t matter if I was fish clan anyways because I do not eat fish at all."

Her:  "None at all?  at all at all?"

Me: "Nope, I don’t like fish and it is my clan but if you want to bring something that is shrimp or fish of any type, go right ahead."

Her: "I wouldn’t be offending you would I?"

Me:  "No, no offense taken here. Go right ahead and make what you wanted for the Christmas party.  I won’t be eating it."

Her: "Ok, I just wanted to make sure that I wouldn’t be offending you.  I remembered something in the back of my mind that you mentioned something about your clan and it being fish but I wasn’t sure so I wanted to ask.  Thank you."

Me:  "You’re welcome  ……., talk to you later"

I hang up the phone and bust out laughing.

I know, I know, non natives just don’t understand our ways sometimes.